


Master and pet

by sherbal



Series: We met [1]
Category: The Grand Tour (TV) RPF, Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 10:13:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8441791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherbal/pseuds/sherbal
Summary: He thought he was the master, but he was so wrong.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Many many thanks to the sweet reeltoreal for betaing this.  
> You are amazing.  
> this version is so much better than the original one.  
> it's from Jeremy's POV and it's the first part of "we met" series  
> please enjoy, any remaining mistakes are mine

It's been over a decade since their first encounter. There was nothing romantic or memorable about it. It's a perfectly normal audition. Compared to the other applicants, Hammond did a good job of commenting on a newly-launched supercar. He was also easy to talk to in the mock news section of the interview which earned him the golden ticket of becoming a co-presenter to Top Gear.

Jeremy thought that the short bloke was clever, presentable, dynamic; there was nothing else.

There were indeed some sparkling points in their on-camera relationship. There was the man’s insane proclivity for muscle cars and motorbikes… but you can't really demand a perfect co-worker who gets along with you in every single way. It's just a job. Everybody gets paid well for their work and goes their separate ways at the end of the day. There was the occasional trip to the pub after work or some casual chats during lunch breaks. Maybe they'd even hang out once in a while. Frankly speaking, he didn't expect this to go any further than being work mates.

Jeremy enjoyed making friends, meeting interesting people and sharing a good laugh. He had many acquaintances to whom he can be funny and caring and even charming; but he usually doesn't put much emotion or commitment into it. It's very rare that he's willing to show his inner world to any of his friends. The best comedian is always a pessimist at heart: someone who fights the urge to let his sorrow or pain out to others while telling a joke about his dogs.

 

\\\

 

During the first series of Top Gear they got along well. The short guy worked hard and really devoted himself to the show. Though it was not easy work, Hammond did his best to make the most of it. Jeremy was impressed at this commitment. It was technically Jeremy’s show and he appreciated how the other presenters and the crew tried their best to improve it for him.

Jeremy did hang out with Richard a few times. At a pub near the Dunsfold hangar or some local restaurant or hotel bar when they were filming on location in other parts of the country. They got close, but not that close.

They knew about each other's families and even had a family dinner once. They each knew, though, that other was obviously not the one you’d call when you’re drunk and couldn't find your way home. They were still co-workers, after all. It wouldn’t do to need to look Hammond in the eye Monday morning after vomiting in the passenger’s seat of his rusty old Porsche on Saturday night.  
They were like two trains with tracks crossing at some points and quickly splitting off again to go separate ways. It was almost the best supervisor-subordinate relationship he could ask for.

Today, he'd still willing to trade it for anything.

 

\\\

 

After the first series, the show didn't go as well as Jeremy hoped it would. There were rumors about the BBC cancelling the show if they didn’t switch up the hosts. Some BBC execs decided to sack Jason (no great lose, there) and were still undecided about Hammond.

Jeremy was also thinking about changes and transformation of the content which, he thought, may require some new presenters: perhaps a lovely woman or a dashing young man to draw in a broader audience. So after the series finale aired he told Hammond over the phone that he probably would not be asked to come back to work in the next series.  
During the call, he could hear noises of children and the sound of a television from the background.

This man had a wonderful family, he thought.

Hammond sounded sad but polite over the phone. Saying things like "thank you for this chance" and other things that are commonly used to tell your boss you are pissed but that's fine.  
Jeremy knew Hammond liked this job. He knew how much efforts Hammond had put into it.

But this young fellow didn't seem that special to him.

Putting down the phone next to a pile of files of woman presenters, he went out of his study to play with his own children.

 

\\\

 

He went to the office to oversee some auditions.  
A woman named Sarah was scheduled to have her interview at about three that afternoon, but she couldn't make it due to the delay of the trains. Typical.

The other interviews passed and the rest of the staff packed up and left quickly, leaving Jeremy alone in his office doing research on the new DB7 GT he wanted to include in the next series.

It was a rainy day, the clouds bumped into one another in the grey sky. The rain poured to the ground washing away the dust motes stirred by the passing people and cars. Raindrops beat the glass windows of his office leaving thin lines of water winding far down. It was the type of evening that made Jeremy long for a bottle of rosé and a mediocre novel.

Then somebody knocked on his office door.

It was quiet and hinted at hesitation from the person outside.

Truth to be told, he never expected it would be Hammond when he pulled the door ajar. The happy man with a lovely family should be with his wife and daughters now, surrounded by dogs beside the fireplace. Not turning up all wet with water dripping from his hair, eyes wide as he locked them onto the taller man.

"Jeremy, I'll be sacked later this month, right?"  
Jeremy nodded seriously.

"I have an offer to make." The usually cheerful man said casting his eyes away with unease, frowning at himself.

"What offer?" Jeremy walked back around his desk and set down his reading glasses to look at the shorter man closely.

To his surprise, Hammond followed him past his desk and stood beside him.

Deep down inside, he knew what was about happen; he just wanted to be caught jumping to conclusions. He took his seat again in his worn leather desk chair.

The shorter man remained silent.

"What’s your offer, Hammond ?" He turned his chair to face the man standing at his right.

Another raindrop fell from Hammond’s tense face to the floor and wet the carpet. He seemed to be in the midst of an inner struggle. Maybe it was better for him to just leave and pretend that this had never happened.

"Hammond, whatever offer you have to make, you don't need to. You won't be sacked. We can't find a woman presenter to fill your position. It's really hard to find someone as tiny as you and with such a squeaky noise."

Jeremy didn't want to embarrass his subordinate. A shag on his desk was not his current need and honestly, would not save the man's career.

He could have taken the liberties. You can't blame one for considering.

But Jeremy Clarkson is an English gentleman, no matter what horrible things he said. He couldn't let himself humiliate Hammond and then fail to meet his demand. He may shout abuse to truck drivers or old ladies or morons who can't drive their cars properly. But he just did it for fun. He's never been a vile, petty man who pulls a friendly face to the public and changes into monster in private. He masked his feelings, like any other English gentleman, to try to not bother others or show weakness.

He admired Hammond's courage to propose such an offer, but he couldn't take it. And now, he'd make sure Hammond stayed on the show.

 

\\\

 

Things really worked out suddenly. He used his forceful personality and strong will to keep Hammond on and then introduced James May to the show to replace Jason Dawe.  
The show was quickly falling into place and ratings were quickly rising.

Meanwhile, he and Hammond were getting along pretty well. Sometimes Hammond would bring biscuits and cakes his wife made to the office and save some for him purposely.  
Hammond would slip into Jeremy’s office and eat his packed lunch with him from time to time. They went for a drink couple times a week where they shared secrets and jokes like two school boys.

Initially Jeremy felt uncomfortable when Hammond showed his appreciation. After all, when you hang out with someone who tried to blow you to keep his job, it’s bound to feel a bit odd.  
But he quickly indulged himself into the admiration from the young man. He thought Hammond almost hero-worshipped for letting him keep the job he so clearly loved. He could feel admiration from those big brown eyes every time they looked at him.

He grew fonder of Hammond, who behaved like his personal hamster. Though the short man ruffled every time he called him that. He still thought a cute little hamster was the perfect pet name for his Richard Hammond, small but determined and bit tough at times.

Jeremy loved teasing him every second. It was a great fun to watch the small hamster jump and shout at him. The younger man seemed reluctant to fight back his mock at that time and took it as sort of compliment.

He went mad and started to write inappropriate stuff in script including body-touching and teasing. He wanted to show their mutual affection publicly like an act of exhibitionism.

He knew Hammond saw him as a great boss, great but still his boss. Then again, shorter man called him Jeremy in a soft tone that made his heart flutter.

 

\\\

 

What's wrong with him?

He was watching the footage of the first episode of the second series with the crew when he suddenly realized that he smiled a bit too much at Hammond. It was getting quite obvious. Around him, no one else seemed to notice and kept watching and making notes of run times and potential edits.

Jeremy felt edgy. He saw affection almost floating out of his eyes when they caught Richard Hammond.

This was totally wrong.

He secretly looked at Hammond who was watching the film too but appeared not to notice anything wrong. The shorter man suddenly turned to meet his glaze and smiled back then turned back to the film.  
He smiled awkwardly, cleared his throat, and excused himself to the bathroom.  
He looked like an idiot. What was wrong with him? H couldn't take his eyes off his colleague. This was absurd. He needed to stop this stupidity.

It wasn't love or lust or something. He still didn't want to sleep with his coworker. He maybe just found Hammond a bit attractive.

In the following days, he caught himself watching Richard from his glass-walled office from time to time. Invariably, he’d unintentionally smile when the shorter man smiled. He didn't know what was getting into him. Did stupid Cupid shoot his stupid arrow at Jeremy by mistake?

Hammond looked up from his desk and smiled at him again.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

 

\\\

 

He had a good family, not perfect, but good. His wife, Francie, was his manager, managing his life and business while he went to the office to make jokes or shout abuse.

He had three lovely children, to whom he provided a good education and unconditional love.

What else he could possibly ask for?

He still had sex with his wife maybe twice a week. And played with his children when he came home from work.

One Richard Hammond was ruining it all.

But, he didn't think of him in an erotic way. He still masturbated to thoughts of Angelina Jolie or Kristin Scott Thomas. No, not Richard, not that small man with big brown eyes.

He just enjoyed his company and liked to have him around like a pet hamster.

Maybe this was just a new kind of friendship that he had never had before.

 

\\\

 

"How can May not be jealous?" Jeremy thought to himself.  
He and Hammond almost always shared the same interest in trolling the new boy. And they hung out more often than either of them with James. If he was May, he must be very furious about being excluded. James, however, seemed content with his job and didn’t make a fuss about his co-presenters’ closeness. 

Jeremy, contrarily, got incensed when he knew Richard and James were hanging out together. He thought it was sort of possessiveness. If he couldn't play with his hamster, then no one could. This was ridiculous but he couldn't help it.  
He started to go to the gym and watching what he ate. He managed to lose weight and, thank god, he looked younger when he stood next to the shorter man. He cut his hair more often and surreptitiously attempted to develop some sense of fashion. While he didn't think he succeeded, he did attempt to look better.

He didn't think Hammond noticed his efforts, but they made him feel good about himself. He was only in his mid- forties. He told himself it's normal to want to get healthier and better-looking. Call it a mid-life crisis, his wife certainly did.

 

\\\

 

During the third and fourth series, Jeremy tried to control his unrealistic fantasies. Yet it was with increasing frequency that he wondered what would happen if he had taken Richard up on his offer back then. Whenever those niggling thoughts trickled into his consciousness fear caused him to abandon them, slamming that proverbial door without looking back.

It was inevitable now that his marriage was going to an end. Jeremy gradually started sleeping in the guest room. It had started when he’d get back late and crash there so he didn’t disturb Francie’s sleep. Then he started keeping a spare charger for his mobile on the bedside table in the guest room. And a few sets of clothes. Before either of them knew it the room stopped being a guest room and started being his room. It was seldom that they talked to each other when it wasn’t about the kids, his career or the finances.

He was ashamed to say this… but he got himself several girlfriends. His wife knew but only saw this as an absolution and took up with a mutual acquaintance who had always been more her friend than his.

Hammond and May also knew about the gradual collapse of Jeremy’s marriage as they saw him picking up his lady friend after shooting. If he was being honest, he wanted Hammond to know. He wanted Hammond to see.

May and Hammond were getting along quite well, like he and Hammond used to. They spent many hours together talking about bikes and cats and other things Jeremy had no interest in. They two other men even went on weekend rides in the country together. When he and Hammond were that close, he warned Hammond about the danger of riding motorcycles but the shorter man just laughed and didn't talk about it anymore.  
He wanted his loved ones to stay away from what he saw as suicidal behavior, but that loved one refused to listen. Now he had May, another partner to commit suicide with. How perfect!

The love of young women numbed him. He no longer needed to find his confidence and sense of security in one short bloke's admiration. He had girls whispering sweet nothings into his ears all the time.

Fuck those who called him a fat bastard. This fat bastard was now enjoying himself in the tenderness of some choice women.

Hammond was a family man who obviously didn't approve of this sort of thing. He did tell him what he felt about this in a very quiet and diplomatic way. But Jeremy stopped listening to him after Hammond’s fifth attempt.  
The hamster came to his office less frequently and usually went straight home after a long day at work. Except when he and May quietly left without Jeremy.

The show was becoming a bigger success which raised their payroll and fame. And they became more and more distant.

 

\\\

 

Jeremy got carried away during those years, indulging himself in his love of mysterious ladies. Until the accident.

He got the news when he was writing his column for the Sunday Times in his study. Andy called telling him that Hammond crashed the jet car. A tire blew at some ungodly speed. He was alive but that was all they knew.

He froze.

In the passing years, Jeremy paid less attention to Hammond and became friends again. They greeted each other when coming to work and said goodbyes after the shooting process. They still made jokes and played pranks on James laughing about it like schoolboys.

But there was something… something missing from Hammond's eyes.

Finally, Hammond had realized that he was just a fat bastard.  
He’d lost the esteem and admiration he’d once held for Jeremy.  
When Jeremy looked a him, he was wondering if Hammond was secretly disgusted by him. Whether he would look at him with contempt when he thought Jeremy wasn’t watching.  
It bothered Jeremy and he needed to find his comfort somewhere else, like young women. A vicious cycle, that.

Then there was the accident.

Though that innocuous word, “accident”, hardly touched on the way Jeremy’s pulse raced. It didn’t begin to describe the catastrophic way Jeremy’s vision dimmed and the roar in his ears when the reality hit him. “Accident” was when you spilled red wine on your friend’s white shirt. “Accident” wasn’t someone’s homemade jet car Richard bloody Hammond plowing into the ground at almost 300 mph.

Jeremy met James at the hospital. James was the same anxious mess that he was. Sitting in the hallway, waiting for any news about the condition of Hammond, he saw tears threatening to spill from James’ eyes.  
He wanted to shout at him, "how can you be so sad? He's not dead! Don’t write him off!"  
And he secretly hated every single person in the hallway for worrying about Hammond like he did. He wanted Hammond to be his alone, his private treasure. No one should be allowed to worry about him other than Jeremy.

He instinctually lit a cigarette. The nurse angrily told him to put it out. He glared at her and walked outside.

Many hours later, he didn’t know how many, Andy phoned him to tell him that Richard was out of danger; he could barely speak.

\\\

 

Jeremy liked Mindy. He knew her to be a bright girl with a lovely smile. And he hated her for being Hammond's wife. But he thanked her for taking good care of Richard when he knew he couldn't.

He texted or phoned her every day to check the condition of Hammond. He didn't want to be rude and insensitive of her plight, so he texted her a joke or heartwarming words every day.

Hammond's recovery seemed very difficult and painful. His memory still slipped from his head now and then.  
Jeremy tried not to visit him too often. After all, he's only his colleague and boss. If he gave into his impulses and sat there all day holding his hand, what would people?  
Mindy was the one who was, by all rights, closest to him. One person holding his hands was enough. Besides, Jeremy was certain that Hammond didn't want to see a fat old man sitting next to him every time he opened his eyes.

He sometimes thought about Hammond at night, sleeping in a hospital bed, small and alone. His hamster was hurt and left at the vet's and he could do nothing about it. He missed him. But he was too afraid to express that love.

"Oh, is that love now?" he thought bitterly.

He dared not to say he love him. If he loved him, he wouldn't have put him in that Vampire car to commit suicide. If he loved Richard, he would be a man about it and tell him.

He didn't love him.

He was not gay. And he certainly was not turning gay because of one midget co-worker.

\\\

Hammond's memory was still not improving. He forgot what had happened last night when he woke up in the morning. He recognized Jeremy and James but the next minutes he asked for their names.

It had been a week since the accident, and Hammond still was weak and mental. Jeremy felt so upset that he wanted to rush into the hospital room and shout at him. Shout the words back into his brain.  
"Wake up! Richard! It's me, Jeremy!"  
He could repress this urge normally. But one night, one night with too many drinks, he gave up that defense mechanism and took a cab to the hospital.  
Mindy was not there, home with the children, most likely. Hammond was watching the television all by himself.

"Jeremy?" The little man in hospital clothes said when he saw him.

"You remember me?" He asked with tenderness.

"Maybe this hour, yes, I remember you. You great oaf. You and your stupid jokes. How could you call me a shit driver when I woke up? The car was the one to blame, not me. Useless thing."  
Jeremy sat down on one of the chairs beside the bed.

"A shit driver who couldn't see the wheel was coming off his car." He smiled as Hammond smiled.

"Thanks for the visit, mate. But I'm afraid I can't talk any longer now. They gave me some medication to sleep better. I already feel dizzy.”

He saw an opportunity, a chance which may never happen again.

"Hammond?" he leaned forward, "you can't remember anything happened last night when you wake up. Is that right?"

The shorter man nodded with sorrow." Yeah, that's true. I won't be able to remember your visit in the morning. Sorry mate."

"There's nothing to be sorry about." He leaned in more.

He knew he shouldn't do this. It was sincerely pathetic, and probably a violation of his friend’s autonomy, but he couldn't help it.

He grabbed Hammond by the front of his hospital clothes him down to smash their lips together.

It was not a long kiss. Though Jeremy wanted it to go on there was a in his head voice telling him to stop.

Hammond looked confused but drowsy. The last thing he said was, " Jeremy, wha... "

Then he dozed off.

Jeremy left with his shame.

\\\

 

Hammond was a tough little man. He proved it again by recovering strongly in spite of the difficult and painful process.  
He no longer reacted to the name "Hamster”. Jeremy wondered why but the younger man always dodged the question with some fat man jokes.

Hammond didn't seem to recall the memory of that night which was a great relief to him. It was not an impulse but perhaps something that he had wanted to do for a really long time, longer than he thought.

Jeremy was happy to have Hammond back even knowing he was not fully recovered.  
He treated Hammond as his mate, the same way he treated James. The three of them were really mates like he imagined the best supervisor-subordinate relationship. He was glad of that.

But he missed it, the confused feelings he got when Hammond was looking at him with affection in his big brown eyes. They teased each other constantly and both hung out with James on the weekend.

He got another girl, and another, and another.

Hammond and May disapproved but they were mates. Mates didn't comment on the way each other lived their lives.  
Jeremy made a promise of never putting Hammond in danger again. But he failed to keep it.

The producers raised an idea of them going to the North Pole. This was only one year after Hammond's accident. It was ridiculous. He couldn't let him go running through the bloody arctic with a bunch of dogs for seven days and more. He simply couldn't allow it.

Hammond was keen on the idea when it came up at a planning meeting. This made Jeremy shout at almost everyone in the meeting room and retreat to his office.

About half an hour later, there was a knock at the door. Then without being answered, Hammond walked straight in.

He thought about that afternoon years ago, when the younger man shyly knocked the door and patiently waited for the response. Time does change people.

"Jeremy, why were you so upset about the idea of going to the North Pole? It'll do loads for the ratings and a great experience. Why can't you see that?"

"What's so great about running on ice with dogs nonstop?" He didn't want to lift his head from the computer.

"You and James will be driving in s car. I'm the one who fucking run with dogs." There came the squeaky noise.

"I don't like being cold. Why can't we do an Italian special or something. It's like self-harm."

"You are a coward. You’re just afraid of going there. Don't be a chicken! Be a man!" Hammond shouted hurting Jeremy’s ears hurt.

"I'm not a coward. We are not going to the fucking North Pole. That's it. Now get out." He was aiming for stern and in control. He fell short.

"You and James are too fucking old to go to the wild."

He got furious and finally stood up to meet Hammond's glare with his own look of wild desperation. "You! Hammond! It's you. How can you go to the fucking North Pole full of big-ass icebergs when you just recovered and barely that? Why did you fail to notice every single time I didn't want you to do something dangerous?"

Hammond's face softened and looked confused just like that night. "I'm sorry mate. But I’ve gotten well again and I really want to go there. I want to see the big-ass icebergs before I get killed in the next accident. I want to live. It’s my job and I love it. Because I get to do mad stuff like run across frozen tundras with a pack of dogs." Hammond sat down on the chair in front of his desk.

"There's nothing to be sorry about." He sighed and turned back to look through the window. Hammond sat quietly for a moment. The silence wasn’t particularly comfortable or uncomfortable… It just was. As if they were both alone in their own minds and separate worlds.

Then came Richard’s tentative voice, "Jeremy?"

"Yes, Richard?"

"I can't remember clearly… But did you...” After a heartbeat he went on with more conviction in his voice, “no, that's ridiculous. Forget about it. I'm grateful of you thinking about my health. I'm feeling really good right now. Even better than before."

"Yes, we will go to the North Pole. If you are eaten by polar bears, I will send a wreath saying 'dedicated to a moron who begs to be devoured by beasts'."

"Thanks mate! You’re brilliant!"

He refused to turn around to see the cheerful look on Hammond's face.

The door shut with a bumping noise, leaving him alone in the office.

 

\\\

 

Jeremy grew older and older every day. He woke up every morning to find a certain part of him not functioning well.  
His back hurt when he sits or stands or even sleeps. And that’s if he can even get to sleep in the first place. His vision is getting worse. He needed to get reading glasses. His hair started to go missing from the top of his head. His once trim belly growing out like a pregnant woman. His hands shake from time to time.

He reached his fifties but looked like he was above sixty.

He felt tired; his insomnia worse than ever. He survived on smokes and alcohol. He went to two parties one night and flirted with girls he didn't know, waking up the next morning with the woman he was currently dating, an assistant producer on his show.

He enjoyed this office romance.

He felt young again by having sex in boardrooms or his office. He liked her. She was really helpful to his constant midlife crisis.

Hammond aged elegantly, he was about the same age Jeremy had been when they first met. But look to at him, he was still that big-eyed bloke of ten years ago.

James always looked the same, a bit sloppy but ridiculously clean and quite posh in a strange way.  
He was the most un-charming one in their trio.

And though he secretly hated himself for being so fat and so old, there's nothing he could do about it. He wasn’t about to give up the booze and cigarettes and what was the point of keeping fit when you can already attract girls?

\\\

When they were filming in Italy, he brought his girlfriend with him, which annoyed Hammond greatly. But both of them refused to talk about it and went separate ways to enjoy themselves in the Italian countryside.

He kissed and hugged his girlfriend more often in public. Usually Hammond would avert his gaze to look at the sky or sculptures that he didn't really care about.

Then one night, when she went shopping with some crew members, Jeremy was left alone in his hotel room. There was a knock at the door and he opened the door to find Hammond outside it. They barely spoke to each other privately now. Maybe he was just coming over to borrow a kettle or something. He let Hammond in with a gesture.

"I need to talk to you about something,” he said brusquely, “is your em... is she here?" Hammond stood by the door, showing no intention of going any further into the room.

"No, she went shopping. Do you want to sit down?"

Hammond looked at him nervously. All his mannerisms reminded Jeremy of that shy, young man knocking his office door on a rainy night a decade earlier. He knew that something was wrong. He wasn't stupid, no matter what the Mirror reported about him.  
"What is it, Hammond?"

"I know I may sound stupid. But please bear with me, this is really important. Did you kiss me when I was in the hospital after the accident?" Hammond said the sentence with strained voice, rubbing the back of his neck and turned his gaze to look at the carpet.

"No, why are you asking that?" Jeremy Clarkson hated himself for being a fat coward.

"Em, maybe just a bad dream." Hammond laughed dryly.

"You are dreaming of me kissing you in a hospital. God, Hammond! Your sexual fantasy is bit odd even for my taste." He absolutely hated himself for saying this, for weakness, for running away from his feelings.

"No, I'm asking only because I don't want to catch STDs or something. Anyway, I'm off to bed." Hammond opened the door and left quickly.

Jeremy waited three long breaths before smashing his wine glass to the floor. He collapsed onto the sofa with his face in hands for a really long time.

\\\

They are mates today. The three of them, an inseparable trio. After his juvenile outburst Hammond and May left Top Gear to support him for being such a cunt and coward. He felt grateful and humbled by their friendship.

What can he possibly ask for when he has two best friends who say he has pubes for hair but are there for him at the lowest point in his life?

He lived alone, sometimes visiting his children and his wife.

He prepared for their new show, partly wanting humiliating BBC for dumping him like a piece of garbage. How could them abandon him for such a tiny mistake? But also because what else could he do? The best of his was a motoring journalist on a car show that wasn’t really about cars at all.

He walks in the morning, exercising a bit to look healthier.  
He stopped smoking so aggressively and turned to nicotine gum to live longer. He had a three year contract now, he’d need to make it that long, at least.

He writes about his feelings over the past decade and deletes the document after he finishes.

He meets Hammond and May more often to organize their show. He no longer sees himself as the boss of the other two. They are a team and he can be the leader, but not the boss.  
Richards's daughters are growing beautifully, just like their mum and dad. Hammond looked like a proud father when his daughter drove them to the nearby pub.

They are three old men now. Soon he'll never be able to drive a supercar because of his back problems.

Although still making high-pitched squeaking noises when provoked, Hammond is less fighty and mostly behaves like an adult. Well, as much as any of them do. Their new show, just like the old, is based off of three old men acting like children in supercars.

Jeremy calls him hamster once in a while. The short middle-aged man doesn’t react anymore, simply accepting it as part of their friendship.

He sometimes wonders if it was right to want Hammond as his personal pet back then. He loved the company of the shorter man and felt overly protective of him at that time. And even now, if he’s being honest.

But he now he can control the emotions flowing from his eyes. He’d stopped acting like a lovesick old fool a long time ago.  
Jeremy loves Hammond. He even kissed him.

But Hammond is not his pet. He thought he could be Hammond’s master, keeping the furry hamster running in a tiny wheel for his amusement.

But he was terribly wrong. So wrong that he wants to live his life again to correct this mistake.

Hammond was never the hamster, and Jeremy was never his master.

He, Jeremy Clarkson, is the one running in a tiny wheel fooling himself that everything is brilliant and going well. He lied to himself that if he kept going, everything would be okay.  
Richard Hammond is the master, and he, for a really long time, has been the pet.

He came back from his thoughts and stood up to greet the audience of their new show. “Hello and welcome…”

Hammond was next to him, smiling wildly.


End file.
